Things I'm happy about:
1. First and foremost my Sammy is back. Hallelujah. This is really all I need in life, the moment I saw Sam again my heart was filled with joy. And the way he ejected Gadreel. "I SAID GET THE HELL OUT." will go down in Supernatural history. It was amazing.
2. The fact that Crowley seemed to actually care about Sam and Dean. He wouldn't have agreed to help if he didn't care about them deep down. And he certainly wouldn't have been telling Sam to fight so hard. There was emotion and feeling in that speech. I think Crowley is turning a new leaf. I think he's going to change. I say let him become a hunter with some demon comrades on his side. (And let my bitch Abaddon be queen!)
3. That Cas stayed with Sam. I've thought Cas cared about Sam all along, but everyone always talks about how Cas only has a relationship with Dean. What he did tonight was proof he cared about Sam.
Things I'm not happy about:
1. Obviously Sam and Dean being apart. The image of Dean walking away will haunt me. This is the first time I've had to deal with them being separated and not knowing everything would turn out okay. I can't understand why Dean thinks it's best to leave Sam. It also REALLY concerned me what Sam said about Dean not being the problem. What does that mean? This will hurt until it's fixed. I need my boys together. Plain and simple.
2. That both Sam and Dean blame themselves for Kevin's death. I was so afraid of Sam's reaction to what happened but now I'm feeling pain for both of them.
3. That Sam said he was "willing to die." The fact that he doesn't want to keep going. That still hurts so much. That he still has those feelings from the first episode. Sam has been through so much, lost so much. But he keeps going. I can relate to Sam in so many ways and he is my inspiration. I need him to keep fighting. I need him to get to a point in his life where he's happy. And I need Dean to be a part of that too.
I'm in tears as I write this. I can't express the emotions I feel for these characters. They've given me something to hold on to, something to have hope for. I love them so much and I just want them to be happy. I want them to finally get to a place where they are bonded for good. I want them to realize they can't be apart. And I'm hoping that's what we accomplish this season. The good news is Hellatus is over and I only have to wait a week to find out what happens next. AND. 2. MONTHS. UNTIL. VEGASCON.
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