The Road So Far: Season 9 Premiere

This was the first season premiere I watched live. I was nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time. When Season 8 ended we knew things were not good, and the image of Sam lying in that hospital bed from the promo was haunting me. I knew it was going to be an intense episode, but I didn't know how intense. Within the first five minutes I am already in tears at Dean praying for Sam. I was very upset by the scenes inside Sam's head. I was rooting for the "Dean" part which was telling him to fight, and telling the "Bobby" part which was telling him to give up to stop. I was literally screaming at my TV.

Then Ezekiel came into the picture. At first I was grateful for him. I thought "okay, he can make it better." Meanwhile back in Sam's head Sam is saying he wants to die. He tells Death that if he dies he wants him to promise that it will be final. This is heartbreaking. Once again I am in tears and screaming at my TV "No Sam!". But I knew Dean wouldn't let that happen. Dean will always do whatever it takes to save Sam.

Ezekiel says he can save Sam from the inside out, meaning he will possess Sam. Again I'm screaming "no", because I didn't know what this would mean. Would Sam be gone forever? Would Sam be Ezekiel now? I didn't like that, I didn't want that. Then Ezekiel explained he would only stay until Sam was healed.

Then back in Sam's head Dean gave the "There ain't no me if there ain't no you." speech, which I truly do believe was Dean and then Ezekiel jumped in. Of course, Sam said "yes" to Ezekiel and he was out of the hospital, but as Ezekiel. I thought this was going to be like Souless Sam, that we would have Ezekiel for a while until Sam woke up. But then Sam woke up in the Impala. He didn't remember the hospital, he didn't remember the stuff inside his head, he didn't remember Ezekiel taking over.

I felt better knowing it would be Sam atleast part of the time. I still don't know how I feel about switching back and forth between Sam and Ezekiel, but the bottom line is I want Sam to get better. And if this is the way it has to happen, then I'm going to have to get on board.

For me this was definitely the most intense premiere ever. It really affected me. I know the road ahead of us is going to be rough. But I put myself through hell because I love these boys. And I'll stick with them until the end.